Project "All's Fair In Friendship And War"

Project AFIFAW

DAY TWENTY-SIX

Image One: “Jaz sneaks out of the house early in the morning, while her partner and the rest of Our Gang™ sleeps.”

Image Two: “Worried that she might have to feel this strange kicking sensation for something crazy long like three days, she goes to the bookstore to get quality material on the matter.”

Image Three: “She returns later with a stack of books, and gets to work reading through them in the kitchen.”

Image Four: “Now that his body is super-fit, Ben has to keep his mind super-fit as well! He plays some chess in the living room in his underwear and RINGRING-”

Image Five: “’Hello, Owner Of This Household, you have been selected to be eligible to be entered into our draw to have a chance of receiving our complimentary gift for only nine easy payments of-*click*’ ‘Telemarketers, what can ya do?’”

Image Six: “Having read [read: skimmed] through the pregnancy books, Jaz decides it’s time to tell Ben. He’s not the most appropriate metaphor in the noun, so he hadn’t been clued in by Jaz’s protruding belly. He reacts as you might expect. ‘Yeah, right.’”

Image Seven: “Jaz encourages him to feel her belly.”

Image Eight: “He modifies his reaction.”

Image Nine: “He also promptly begins drinking, wailing his troubles to the Grim Reaper.”

Image Ten: “Ben didn’t get much sleep that night.”

So Ends DAY TWENTY-SIX. Next: DAY TWENTY-SEVEN.

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DAY TWENTY-FIVE

Image One: “Ghost!Terri appears! She drifts around the house for a little while, and the smell of burnt waffles wafting through Our Gang™’s house awakes Ben.”

Image Two: “Ben sees the ghostly apparition of his departed friend and is incredibly surprised. Ghost!Terri tells him how her brain got fried by the TV, but it kinda felt good.”

Image Three: “Ben bursts into tears. Ghost!Terri consoles him. He later wonders if he didn’t imagine the whole thing.”

Image Four: “Jaz wakes up feeling queasy. She rushes to the bathroom and blows chunks.”

Image Five: “To escape the retching noises coming from the bathroom, Ben and Chappy go outside to chat. Ben tells Chappy about how stupid children are. Chappy agrees.”

Image Six: “Chappy tries hitting on Jaz again and, when Jaz turns him down, tells her that he always liked Terri better anyways. Jaz whacks him upside the face for bringing Terri up like that.”

Image Seven: “Ben suggests they all go to the local watering hole to unwind, before fights break out.”

Image Eight: “Jaz and Ben have a couple of drinks and have fun, playing foosball and eating crappy bar food.”

Image Nine: “…and Chappy hits on anything with boobs. His pick-up line ‘Aren’t you a dish? I’d love to lick you clean’ is ineffective.”

Image Ten: “They all return home after a relaxing night, but as Jaz tosses in her sleep she is roused by a strange sensation. Getting out of bed, she feels a kick in her stomach.”

So Ends DAY TWENTY-FIVE. Next: DAY TWENTY-SIX.

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DAY TWENTY-FOUR

Image One: “Oh, come on! Really?! Yet again, immediately following one of Our Gang™’s passing, a burglar strikes the house.”

Image Two: “They manage to make off with a painting and split before the police arrive.”

Image Three: “Terri’s passing appears to have broken Chappy, as when he gets up in the morning he has a very enthusiastic conversation with the radio about nachos.”

Image Four: “Not really helping things much, the Grim Reaper starts jumping Our Gang™ and scaring them.”

Image Five: “While Ben doesn’t get too offended at the Grim Reaper scaring Chappy, he draws the line when their new houseguest has fun at Jaz’s expense.”

Image Six: “He tells the Grim Reaper off, saying that that behavior isn’t tolerated and that he’s overstaying his welcome.”

Image Seven: “The Grim Reaper makes his apologies and Chappy has a cry on his shoulder about Terri’s passing. ‘It’s okay,’ the Grim Reaper consoles him. ‘You’ll be with her again soon enough.’ ‘What?’ ‘Nothing. *pat pat*’”

Image Eight: “Jaz and Ben discuss the recently deceased, and decide that they can’t keep moping about just because people are dropping like flies. Dead flies.”

Image Nine: “They share a kiss. Yeah, they can’t keep moping around, they need to be happy.”

Image Ten: “… really happy.”

So Ends DAY TWENTY-FOUR. Next: DAY TWENTY-FIVE.

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DAY TWENTY-THREE

Image One: “Terri’s up first, and she starts her day by painting a new picture. It’s turning into quite the hobby for her.”

Image Two: “Chappy, however, starts his day by making another futile attempt at getting Jaz to like him.”

Image Three: “Terri finishes her painting and goes downstairs to watch some TV. As she chuckles at the quality programming, there’s a bad sound and the TV breaks.”

Image Four: “’Aw, really?’ Terri asks, getting up to hit the TV with a hammer. Bad idea.”

Image Five: “Her melodramatic screams of pain echo throughout the house, and the Grim Reaper rushes downstairs. He’s back in business!”

Image Six: “He takes Terri away, leaving only a very sad trio of Ben, Chappy, and Jaz remaining from our original gang of six.”

Image Seven: “The rest of the day is very sad, with the remaining members of Our Gang™ mourning the loss of Terri.”

Image Eight: “Chappy’s the hardest hit, as the only thing with boobs that would tolerate his flirting is now six feet under. Ben, not all that good at consoling people whose girlfriends have just fried like a squirrel in a power generator, doesn’t know what to say.”

Image Nine: “The day passes slowly, and everyone goes to bed, Chappy now alone under the covers.”

Image Ten: “R.I.P. Terri. Day 1 - Day 23. You are the most-missed so far.”

So Ends DAY TWENTY-THREE. Next: DAY TWENTY-FOUR.

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DAY TWENTY-TWO

Image One: “Our Gang™ seems to be getting on pretty well with the Grim Reaper. Either that, or they are sucking up to try and prevent any… unfortunate accidents.”

Image Two: “Ben and Jaz have breakfast downstairs, and Ben has an idea. This apparently terrifies Jaz.”

Image Three: “The two go upstairs, turn off the lights, and have some fun.”

Image Four: “Terri breaks another toilet. Luckily Chappy’s still around to fix it.”

Image Five: “He’s too busy trying to hit on Jaz, though, to bother unclogging the toilet.”

Image Six: “Jaz has a snicker with the Grim Reaper about Chappy cheating on Terri. Chappy isn’t amused.”

Image Seven: “He confronts the Grim Reaper and begs him not to tell Terri. The Grim Reaper pleads ignorance; tells Chappy to go away.”

Image Eight: “The oblivious Terri, however, has spent the day continuing her painting. It’s now finished, and no one is quite sure what it is or why she painted it.”

Image Nine: “Ben works out some more, gotta improve those muscles for Jaz!”

Image Ten: “And he is considerably more buff when he goes to bed that night. Impressive.”

So Ends DAY TWENTY-TWO. Next: DAY TWENTY-THREE.

Project AFIFAW

WEEK THREE RECAP

This week was a tragic week in Our Gang™’s house. Fixing, floating, fires, and ffffflove, two houseguests moved on this week and here’s a recap of the events.

Image One: “After saving her life the previous night, Jaz thanks Ben with some gratuitous making out, and they start going steady.”

Image Two: “Meanwhile, Chappy hits it off with Terri.”

Image Three: “But, still not convinced he’d been made redundant, Chappy tries to win Jaz back and she fends him off. He didn’t save her life, Ben did. And she loves him for it. Terri, sitting right there, is not amused.”

Image Four: “Our Gang™ discovers that a swimming pool has been installed in their yard.”

Image Five: “Jacko promptly drowns in it.”

Image Six: “Without Jacko around to punch out potential robbers, one makes a move on the house, but is thwarted by Jenn.”

Image Seven: “Chappy seems to have finally given up on Jaz, and he and Terri kiss.”

Image Eight: “Terri sets the house on fire for the fourth time…”

Image Nine: “… and this time kills Jenn for good.”

Image Ten: “And, seeing as he’s visiting the house every other day anyways, the Grim Reaper decides to move in with Our Gang™ at the end of the week.”

How’s this going to affect the dynamics of the house? With Jacko and Jenn gone, two main sources of anger, conflict, but not unfortunately conflagration, have departed the house, but now a mysterious stranger, a reaper of souls, has joined them. What will happen in their last full week in the house?

So Ends WEEK THREE. Next: DAY TWENTY-TWO.

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DAY TWENTY-ONE

Image One: “Ghost!Jacko appears, much to Jaz’s apparent disgust, and floats around Our Gang™’s house for a little while, levitating tables and napping on beds, before returning to the kitchen her grave.”

Image Two: “Everyone gets some rest and all seems to be well. The remaining four are still alive, Chappy’s given up on hitting on Jaz for the time being, everyone’s happy.”

Image Three: “Terri even starts painting a happy picture in the bedroom-turned-study.”

Image Four: “His epic muscles having worn off now - nothing’s forever with that crazy machine - Ben decides to build some real muscles and gets to work.”

Image Five: “Chappy mocks Ben, saying he’s so weak he couldn’t even lift one barbell, let alone enough to build any muscle.”

Image Six: “Terri’s sad Jenn is gone, and Ben consoles her. Without Jenn and Jacko to cause drama in the house, the place has become pretty quiet lately.”

Image Seven: “Ben and Jaz decide to fix that, and they make some noise. Chappy is not amused.”

Image Eight: “He goes outside to get a drink and - BWUH? Ghost!Jacko is having a nap beside the pool.”

Image Nine: “Chappy decides to give those pesky ghosts a taste of their own damn medicine. Serves them right.”

Image Ten: “Ding-Dong! There’s someone at the door. Ben goes downstairs to see who it is. ‘Oh, hi,’ the visitor says, ‘I decided to move in after all.’”

So Ends DAY TWENTY-ONE. Next: WEEK THREE RECAP.

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DAY TWENTY

Image One: “’Terri, what the fuck?!’ The sounds of a raging inferno downstairs awakes the rest of Our Gang™, and they dash down to find Terri freaking out and the kitchen on fire AGAIN.”

Image Two: “Jenn comes downstairs and promptly catches on fire. Oh no!”

Image Three: “Without Jacko’s skirt-extinguisher, no one can get to her in time and Our Gang™ is forced to watch as Jenn burns to a cajun crisp and- WAIT, IS SHE SMILING TOO?!”

Image Four: “’Goddammit, you guys,’ the Grim Reaper says. ‘Should I just like, move in with you or something? I mean, I visit this house every other day anyways.’”

Image Five: “Terri mourns the loss of Jenn, her best friend in the house, while everyone else forgets about her and plays Foosball.”

Image Six: “Since there’s now less people in the house than there is beds, Our Gang™ decides to renovate the Unfortunately Pink Room.”

Image Seven: “They get rid of everything pink and turn it into a workout room/second study.”

Image Eight: “Chappy tries to hit on Jaz. Once again, she tells him where he ought to go and he putters away, dejected.”

Image Nine: “R.I.P. Jenn. Day 1 - Day 20. You will be missed… slightly more than Jacko.”

Image Ten: “OH SHI-”

So Ends DAY TWENTY. Next: DAY TWENTY-ONE.

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DAY NINETEEN

Image One: “With Robber-Repellent Jacko out of the way, a burglar seizes his chance and breaks into Our Gang™’s house while they all sleep.”

Image Two: “Jenn is awoken by the rustling from downstairs, and hastens to inform the local police.”

Image Three: “The fuzz arrive and arrest the criminal. The officer thanks Jenn, as they’d been trying to catch this guy for some time now.”

Image Four: “The next morning the mood is lively in the house, as Jaz recounts Jacko’s absurd fascination with unicorns pointy horses. Ben and Terri laugh.”

Image Five: “Chappy gets a few moments in private with Terri, and whispers something in her ear.”

Image Six: “Whatever he said, Terri liked it, and they sneak a kiss while no one is watching.”

Image Seven: “Later in the day, the dancing upon Jacko’s grave continues, as Jaz makes boob jokes.”

Image Eight: “Terri gets scarily enthusiastic about hating infinity symbols.”

Image Nine: “Meanwhile, Chappy and Jaz have a breath-holding contest in the pool not 24 hours after Jacko died. What are they thinking? … apparently, not much.”

Image Ten: “Everyone else goes to bed, but Terri stays up for a late-night sna- GODDAMMIT, TERRI.”

So Ends DAY NINETEEN. Next: DAY TWENTY.

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DAY EIGHTEEN Continued

Image One: “Chappy and Jaz continue to fight, so Ben loses interest and wanders off. He’ll, ahem, nurse Jaz’s wounds later. Jenn looks on in bemusement.”

Image Two: “Oblivious or uncaring of Jacko’s passing, Terri eats breakfast while Jenn stands by the bushes outside the window thinking of toilets.”

Image Three: “So that they could cuddle and watch TV together, Ben and Jaz move the couch from the entranceway to the study.”

Image Four: “Oh, it seems someone does actually feel sad that Jacko is no longer a part of Our Gang™.”

Image Five: “Chappy tries to go in for a kiss with Terri, but she’ll have none of that and turns him away.”

Image Six: “Dejected, he goes downstairs and professes his love of tanks to Ben.”

Image Seven: “When Ben doesn’t appear interested in the conversation, Chappy leaves the study in a huff and confronts Jaz. ‘You’re such a whore…sefly!’ he cries angrily, storming out of the room.”

Image Eight: “’Was that really appropriate?’ Ben asks. The drama in the house is flaring up again.”

Image Nine: “R.I.P Jacko. Day 1 - Day 18. You don’t appear to be missed.”

So Ends DAY EIGHTEEN. Next: DAY NINETEEN.

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DAY EIGHTEEN

Image One: “Terri’s the first to rise, for once. Whyever could she be up so early? She must be really hungry or need to go to the bathroom or something.”

Image Two: “… or she could just have a hankering to play Foosball by the light of the rising sun.”

Image Three: “Jacko starts her day off with a refreshing swim in the newly-delivered pool.”

Image Four: “But uh-oh! Trouble in the water!”

Image Five: “Because while others in the house are up, they’re all inside eating breakfast, no one is around to save Jacko. Death claims her.”

Image Six: “Wait, is she smiling?! Is she happy to go?! Son of a bitch!”

Image Seven: “Ben finishes his breakfast and comes outside. He looks at the Grim Reaper. He looks at the tombstone. He looks at the lack of Jacko. He looks at the Grim Reaper. He shakes the Grim Reaper’s hand and thanks him.”

Image Eight: “They launch into a rather friendly conversation, in which Grim reveals that he originally wanted to become a conductor, but his parents made him go to Grimm’s Academy of Reaping instead. Jaz comes outside, sits down for a drink and toasts to Jacko’s death.”

Image Nine: “The Grim Reaper eventually has to go - duty calls - and Ben starts chatting to his now-girlfriend Jaz. He talks about the recent expiration of Jacko, and Jaz thinks about the possible expiration of Chappy.”

Image Ten: “Chappy is obviously a bit pissed. He jumps Jaz.”

DAY EIGHTEEN continues…

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DAY SEVENTEEN

Image One: “Ben’s the first up. He goes down to the living room to escape the snoring, because there’s nothing like playing with yourself to start the day off right.”

Image Two: “Chappy and Terri start hitting it off, flirting with each other and making stupid faces at each other. Actually, that last one’s probably just coming from Terri’s end.”

Image Three: “Chappy sets about hammering the toilet, apparently oblivious that Jaz is in the middle of taking a shower.” Editor’s Note: That dark pixel at the bottom of the censor worries me.

Image Four: “Jacko bores Ben with a rather uninspiring talk about unicorns. Ben isn’t a fan. They’re just pointy horses, really.”

Image Five: “’Hey, something-that-wasn’t-there-before,’ Jaz notices. ‘Where’d you come from?’ It doesn’t reply.”

Image Six: “Surprised but pleased a swimming pool and party area has spontaneously appeared in their yard, Our Gang™ has a pool party to celebrate. Hamburgers and tech discussions for all!”

Image Seven: “In addition to shoes, Ben also apparently has something against lawn gnomes. Whatever happened in his childhood, it left a scar.”

Image Eight: “A bit tipsy, Chappy tries to get Jaz to drop Ben for him. Not only does she reject him, he humiliates himself in front of Terri. Smooth, Casanova.”

Image Nine: “After the party, Chappy walks in on Jaz quite pointedly not dropping Ben. He feels betrayed.”

Image Ten: “Jaz and Ben turn out the lights early, but they won’t be sleeping for a little while…”

So Ends DAY SEVENTEEN. Next: DAY EIGHTEEN.

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DAY SIXTEEN

Image One: “Chappy wakes the house up by banging loudly on the toilet with a hammer. No one’s quite sure what the hell he’s doing.”

Image Two: “Sick of the mess and figuring she might as well make the day productive, Jenn starts scrubbing vigorously at the scorched kitchen floor.”

Image Three: “Terri tells Jaz she thinks she’s a star.”

Image Four: “Jaz corrects Terri, saying ‘no, you’re like the moon. Not all there most of the time.’”

Image Five: “Chappy finishes applying percussive maintenance to the toilet and, inexplicably, it now cleans itself. Amazing! Wonder if that keeps it from breaking every time Terri uses it?”

Image Six: “Chappy is lonely and wants Jaz for himself.”

Image Seven: “He tries to make a move on her, but she turns him away, reminding him she’s with Ben now.”

Image Eight: “Jenn compliments Ben’s cleverness. ‘At least we have someone to make up for Chappy.’”

Image Nine: “Everyone then has a spontaneous get-together in the bathroom. Ben gets his sweet revenge on Jacko, calling her a baby. Take that!”

Image Ten: “He also describes how frightening gigantic shoes are.”

So Ends DAY SIXTEEN. Next: DAY SEVENTEEN.

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DAY FIFTEEN

Image One: “As expected after another tiring inferno in Our Gang™’s house, everyone sleeps in.”

Image Two: “Everyone is pretty much happy that Jaz is still alive because, let’s face it, the house would be pretty boring if there wasn’t a spaced out Asian hooker in it.”

Image Three: “In the kitchen, Jaz thanks Ben for saving her life the night before. They kiss.”

Image Four: “Jacko, witnessing this heartwarming event, tells Ben he’s a baby and that he sucks bottles. What the hell, Jacko.”

Image Five: “Jaz doesn’t think too highly of Jacko for that statement.”

Image Six: “Ben plays some chess with Terri and reveals his long-hidden hatred of shoes.”

Image Seven: “He makes out with Jaz some more.”

Image Eight: “And some more.”

Image Nine: “And some more.”

Image Ten: “Finally, he admits his love to her and asks her out. She accepts.”

So Ends DAY FIFTEEN. Next: DAY SIXTEEN.